


See England By Rail

by Polomonkey



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Footsie, Humor, Kink Meme, Misunderstandings, Sherlock Being Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2013-11-15
Packaged: 2018-01-01 14:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polomonkey/pseuds/Polomonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John thinks he's playing footsie with the cute girl opposite him. When in reality, a certain consulting detective is very surprised when his flatmate starts molesting his foot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	See England By Rail

**Author's Note:**

> I began to worry slightly at the amount of depressing stories I seem to write so I dug this out from the kinkmeme - summary is the original prompt.  
> See, I can totally be lighthearted!

John disliked trains at the best of times, but with Sherlock as a travelling companion, they took on nightmarish proportions. They'd only been going half an hour and already Sherlock had filled in John's crossword, stolen all the leg room with his ridiculously long limbs, and loudly deduced the ticket inspector's drinking problem. He was currently sulking into his book after John had refused to swap seats with him when Sherlock complained about "a weird draught on his forehead".

“So you want me to switch with you and freeze to death then?” John had demanded.

“No because you’re much shorter than me, so it’ll probably pass over you,” Sherlock had replied.

As far as John was concerned, height references were the last bloody straw. Anyway, he wasn’t even short! It was Sherlock who was freakishly, unnaturally tall. 

_Lanky bastard._

“Is this seat taken?”

John looked up to find a woman standing next their table. A very attractive woman, in tight jeans and a red tank top. 

“No,” he said, at the exact same time Sherlock said “Yes.”

“For God’s sake, Sherlock, move your bloody bag and let her sit down,” John said.

Sherlock narrowed his eyes, and ostentatiously heaved his bag off the seat, glaring at the woman as he did so.

“Thanks,” the woman said cheerily to Sherlock, and when John raised his eyebrows at her in apology, she winked at him.

Hmmm. Maybe this journey was redeemable after all.

The woman settled in her seat and John tried to think of a conversation opener. 

_It’d be a lot easier without the Incredible Sulk sat opposite me._

John frowned at Sherlock, and moved his leg forward to gain a bit of leg room, when he felt it hit something. A foot.

_Great, I’ve just kicked her in the foot. That’ll get her attention._

But just as John was about to withdraw, the woman looked up and smiled.

_Oh, hello._

Cautiously, John moved his foot slightly. The other foot rubbed up against his.

_Score._

He heard Sherlock give a snort under his breath, no doubt deducing what he and the woman were up to under the table, but he didn’t care.

The woman was still massaging his foot with hers. He made a decision and carefully slipped his shoe off.

He began to slide his foot up the woman’s leg.

When he reached between her knees, he paused and looked at her. She was staring down at her phone but there was a slight smile playing on her lips.

_Brilliant._

John dared to slide a little further. His foot was now partially resting on her lap, and John couldn’t help but feel himself getting aroused. He’d never done something like this in public before.

Gently, he pushed his foot forward.

_Was she blushing?_

His foot found its target and began rubbing slow circles up against her.

_This is amazing. All these people around and I’m getting some gorgeous woman off under the table._

_This is so hot. This is… wait, what’s that?_

Like in a horror film, John froze. He could only lift his eyes slowly up to look across the table.

And see Sherlock grinning across at him.

_Fuck!_

John pulled his leg back like he’d been stung. Sherlock looked like he was trying not to burst out laughing.

“I-I- Jesus Christ Sherlock, why didn’t you say something?” John hissed.

“Well, it was very funny,” Sherlock said, shrugging. 

“Funny?! I can’t believe- I cannot believe…” John trailed off, unable to string a coherent thought together.

“Don’t know why you’re complaining. You certainly seemed to be enjoying yourself.” Sherlock said smugly. He looked like the cat that got the cream. John wanted to strangle him.

“You… you… you bastard,” John said, and the woman looked over at them.

“Well, John, perhaps next time you’ll swap seats with me,” Sherlock said triumphantly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the buffet car.”

And he squeezed past the woman and sauntered off.

John put his head in his hands.

_If I make it to a hundred, I’ll never live this down._

He looked up to find the woman smiling at him.

“I can sympathise,” She said charmingly. 

John smiled back at her.

_Perhaps all hope wasn’t lost..._

“Oh yeah?” he said. 

“Yeah, my boyfriend always gets cranky on trains too.”

_Oh, God._

“He’s not actually-” John started and then stopped.

_What was the point?_


End file.
